Moo

School stuff is the most important thing to me currently. I'm trying to study my ass off to show the college interviewers that I'm serious about the major I'm picking. I don't have the math requirements (and Canada's education system is slightly different, so it's hard to gauge.) they ask for, which is why I've been taking adult education courses to show them I CAN actually do well in courses when I have an interest. (I never thought I would LIKE math....:O) I wont finish with the full math requirements by the time the interviews roll around, but I should have at least a grade or two to produce to them. (I hated math in high school and didn't bother to try, so I'm showing them I can do excellent in it if I give a damn.)

I'm not expecting to get into Physics this year, and honestly I would rather not since I don't wish to crash and burn on the math part of it. I'm aware I'll be studying and doing homework for 12+ hours per subject when I get into the REAL stuff in year two. (Quantum Mechanics sounds scary but REALLY fucking interesting!) I'm prepared for nothing but study, it's not an issue. (I'm like, mature and stuff....)

I just want to make sure I'm able to greet math with a giant hug before I actually ENTER the program, so I don't crash and burn simply because I wasn't prepared.

I'm hoping I can maybe get in as undeclared and take as many math courses as possible. (I didn't get to physics in high school, and by the sounds of it, most physics professors prefer it, since the first thing they tell you is to forget everything you learned in high school.) Or, another option is to enroll as a Math major for a year or two and transfer in. I'm not "stupid" in math like I thought, but I know I am a bit behind because I didn't take it seriously in high school. However, what I've learned so far, once I went back and reviewed it at BASE level (We're talking arithmetic.) it's not bad at all. That's what's been taking me so long on my distance learning course, I've been reviewing everything up to Algebra and Geometry first. Trig is a breeze when I know what the hell I'm doing. :D

By the way, if any of you smart people out there have suggestions on books to study from or subjects to study (I don't know how many of you had science majors. -__-) let me know. I've been reading anything I can get my hands on.

So I'm coming to the conclusion that WoW has probably ruined MMO's for me for a long time, maybe forever. Aion is nice and all, very pretty, but the system for questing is too close to WoW's. It just reminds me of the original WoW, weeks to level and such. (Well, if you are "casual" like I was in early WoW. Read : I didn't like the game much, I just played it because Austin did at first.). I realize that I don't like socializing in these games anymore. What's the point of an MMO if you don't want to interact with anyone? I'm sick of MMO's turning into jobs, with obligations to people you've never met and owe nothing to, that includes close "friends" in-game. You know, the ones that are your friends forever and then when you stop playing you never hear from them again. Those type of friends. My reasons for quitting WoW was the realization "Why do I feel like I'm obligated to go on a raid I hate, to get irrelevant loot that will get replaced in a month anyway, with 24 people I don't know and owe nothing to?" I'm so SICK of the nerd social hierarchy in MMO's. I don't volunteer to lick someones ass, so therefore I am excluded. (I've never met more male and female kiss asses and attention whores (male and female) before.) It's happened so much over the years, and even switching to Leftovers didn't help, since you get excluded there as well. (Though I was lucky enough to somehow get some peoples attention without having to parade around like a moron.)

FFXI is no better anymore. People act just as cold and detached. Also, I've never met more racists than I have playing FFXI. (Sounds odd since WoW is crawling with them, but people tend to not talk about anything other than the game so you don't know who is or isn't.) Early FFXI was nicer, the "nice" people were still there, so you at least got 1 nice person out of the 50 other wads. They seem to have all moved on, and all that's left are the elitist jerks who cling to their game because they fear change, and when there is the rare "new" person, they scare them off with their elitist attitudes.

So yeah. I basically wasted $67 on Aion a month ago.

Not sure about FF14. I don't think I'll be playing it at this point. SE seems to have gone downhill badly lately, and they seem pretty damn lazy in the fact that they seem to have just re-made the world with the same races (god damn it, add a NEW race) just with different names. Ohhh, so original. -_- I don't think I'll have the time to devote to an MMO anymore, and that's a good thing at this point. It will just help me to enjoy my "rip-your-hair-out-difficult" major that will be Astrophysics. Quantum Mechanics...yummy! :D

What the hell ever happened to games like Xenogears, Vagrant Story, FFtactics, etc ??? This generation is going to be called "The generation of absolutely no original ideas."

Oh yeah, and to the people who think 2012 is actually going to be a real apocalypse, read this, and stfu.

Judging from peoples reactions, or lack thereof, lately, I think I scared everyone off.

So called real-life "friends" can't even be bothered to say "Hi" via facebook. I should be used to this by now, since it's happened as far back as I can remember. People want me around to fill some void in their social life and I get tossed to the side when more "desirable" friends come along. I guess I just don' t have that "alpha" personality, well at least the one that's desired back at home in PA. (I'm not into drinking, puking your guts out, thinking it's funny, and talking about guys/gossip/etc.)

I'm still trying to figure out what part of my personality causes this. I remember back in the day when I pretended to give a damn about the same crap the more popular people I worked with gave a damn about. I guess I enjoyed the feeling of having people around because I was depressed AND I had never had many people like me enough to hang around with me since early childhood.

*sigh*

Oh well. I've got my cats and Austin, I guess.

I suppose I shouldn't be too hurt by shallow people and shallow "friendships" that have no meaning.

But as far as "Friends" go I guess I have none. (Well except Austin I guess.)

One of my favorite Kids in the Hall skits.

2012.
Ok, I am going to flat out say that I'm positive this film is going to be complete, and utter crap.

"The Mayan Calendar predicts the world will end in 2012".

Ok, the Mayans were the ones who apparently let themselves die to the Spanish, because apparently the end of their time was predicted. (I know it's debatable, but superstition seems to rule people, even today. Or maybe Aliens took them. Yep, because ANY society who has the technology to travel through the vastness of space will be interested in us. yep. Fucking egocentric humans. Yep.) . Yeah, cause an ancient, superstitious religion says the worlds ending we should believe it. (that's SARCASM for the idiots out there.) The film profiting off of it is making it worse. I cringe to think about all the nut balls that will be out that night trying to MAKE it happen. Good going asswads.

Ancient civilizations also said the world was flat and that the earth was the center of the universe, but yeah, we should believe everything they say because apparently, they know more than we do today. Fucktards.

Disaster movies are sooooo 1990's.

Now onto my boyfriends Mothers book, Ciao Bella shameless plug. I still have to read their first book The Sidewalk Artist another shameless plug . (I'm mentioned as their web designer in the back of Ciao Bella :D, Austin has since taken over the updates while I do school work and such though. I was having a horrible time coming up with anything good for their site, and Austin is Mr. Creative..so yeah...)

As I read that book, I'll be reading "Dying for a Hamburger", a book about the connection between Alzheimer's and the meat we eat today.

The urge to put my fist through something is rising greatly with each second I hear the asshat workers outside my window drilling. They have been "working" (I use the term lightly) for over a month now. Painting the building or some shit. I may head to the library to study after all. I can't concentrate to save my life here.


 

Finally, after years of thinking I was stupid with numbers, I realize I had bad teachers. :P Pretty soon it's back to my graded math crap. (I think it's supposed to be Trigonometry, they don't state what you're learning in the courses clearly up here.) After I'm done with Trig, I'm just going to study functions and Calculus on my own. My reasons:

1. The Distance learning stuff has worse issues than I originally had with my teachers. It does not explain, step-by-step, what you're supposed to do and why. It spurts out examples, and does not show all the work you must do to get to the answer.

2. It seems to assume you will have a teacher to explain things to you, just like the school books in High School did. Only, *ding ding* I DON'T HAVE A TEACHER! If there aren't concrete explanations and examples, how the hell do you expect someone to fully understand what they are doing???!

3. Studying from their material actually SLOWS me down. I work faster with the "Idiot's" guide books and a few other brands that are a bit more "wordy" for actual problems to do for practice. Example; In my Chemistry course, they didn't specifically state that -273 Kelvin was absolute zero. I go to do word problems, they have a bunch of numbers, where I spent 3 hours racking my brain as to where the hell they got these numbers from. (It's been 8 years since I took my Chemistry course, I had forgotten.) After researching online (which isn't the best place to look for answers) I finally realize it was absolute value with the temperature they were stating. Ok, this might seem like something simple to someone either in school, or only out for a year or so, but fuck...! Then when I got to balancing equations again, the fun started. Flashback of Chemistry all over again. I couldn't remember how to balance. The book showed the answers. Did not explain a step. Not one. So, I go to the library, grab a Chemistry book, and find all my answers there, it all came back. I shouldn't have had to do that. -_-

4. I found all the AP books at the library, which are the equivalent to what I'm learning, with better examples. -_- I wish I had thought to get a library card sooner, I could have saved myself $80.

I felt that what I was learning was "half assed". I even wrote a lot of my suggestions for them. Hopefully they improve their books in the coming years because it must confuse the fuck out of people.
My point. I could have done this myself. Granted I wont have proof via grades that I know the material, but if I learn it properly, they can throw anything they want at me and I'll do well.

So I'm moving a lot faster since I put my trig and chemistry distance learning stuff aside. I'll blast through the questions in another week or so when I'm done studying.
Oh yeah, it also annoys me that I have to make arrangements to go to Toronto to take the final tests. -_- Kind of a pain in the ass since they are only open on weekdays and TO is a 35 minute train ride. After I'm done with these two grades, I'm going to stop wasting my money and continue camping the library.
Oh, and MMO's are sort of out the window now. I've been doing mainly reading and studying with some Aion for an hour so a night if I'm lucky. I don't mind, I feel I've been in a long rut and I'm just coming out of it. >< I'm also realizing how mindless these games make me after I get used to playing them. (WoW being the main one. Once I knew my "rotation" it was no challenge anymore.)

Oh and another thing I noticed. Since when is the Library the "hip" place to hang out? The two branches I've gone to are always loaded with people, to the point where I can't find a table to work at and have to sit in a chair until someone moves.

Sooo, I'll spare the world the emo "I hate the world and have no faith in it." babble and move on to errr happy stuff?

I'm pondering a website again. But it will not be for a bit since the "theme" of at least the main part of the site needs to be set. I was thinking, I would wait until I started school, and make it focus around my major. Since it might be very useful for people interested in Astronomy.

I'm planning on taking Physics in college. Very lofty goal, I know. Working on getting the good education so I can have a prayer against all the other, more "learned" class mates.

I'm realizing that the stupid distance education credits I'm taking can be learned for free at the library. Not to mention, the library books explain things more thoroughly, so I can actually finish the book in a reasonable amount of time. I've found actual mistakes in the books, and I promptly tore out a sheet of paper and started marking things that need more clarity or typos. I'm sure they don't like me much when I send my work in to be graded, since it's full of critique's and suggestion's. Sure, you get a grade to show for it. However, they even say that mature students have an interview, and their grades are pretty much irrelevant, since it does not accurately portray your current expertise. I'm sure I will have to take some type of skills test, like I did before I was accepted to Seneca. (Sadly, I didn't have the coin to pay for it.)   

Whether or not I feel like I'm ready this year, I'll still apply. If I have to take a year of general classes to qualify, I'm totally ok. If I'm going for Astronomy, with the BA and then grad school after, I'm looking at about 12 years of school. Yay. -_- Which is why, since I'm devoting so much time to it, I'm taking something that actually interests me. Not to mention, I can actually make a difference as far as the progression of humanity.

Society is no less complacent than it was 150 years ago.

So far, the Idiot's Complete Guide to Algebra, has been really useful in helping me review some of my weak point's in Algebra. (Since I know you need a mastery of it for a Physic's Major.) The other learning book I bought months ago, has lot's of problems, but doesn't explain some thing's as well as it should. I'm having an easier time now that I got a warm up from all the extra reading and studying I've been doing. I enjoy books that explain problem's in layman's terms.

Yesterday, I took the bus by myself for the first time. Keep in mind, I'm not used to public transportation, since I have always had a car. You don't really need a car in this area, and holy crap not having a car saves A LOT of money. I was proud I made it downtown without any weird problems. The interview went well, I should be hearing from her later this week, after she does her other interviews. Hopefully, I got the job. Sounds like a nice place, very personable specialty store for mainly dogs, and they require you to know a bit about their products and such. The best thing about working in this area, everything closes down at 8pm. (The downtown stores.) So the latest I would be out would be about 9pm. I don't mind working evening shifts if I am off at 8pm. I would be starting off at $10 an hour, a bit above the min. wage. (I think it's $9.50 here now.)

With the taxes calculated, I would be making $850 a month. A nice extra income for 30 hours a week. (It will probably be more than that, since I did the tax percentage from Austin's wage, which is a higher percentage, since he's in the $50k + tax bracket.) It's nice not being completely drained every paycheck for HEALTH INSURANCE! Just for those of you who think Canada pay's insane taxes that are somehow equivalent to the price the US companies gouges you for insurance, it's way, way, way cheaper. The last time I visited Wilkes Barre, I was shocked to see the prices there had become the same as the Canadian prices. :O  (\When I first visited Austin $100 USD bought you about $150 CND stuff. Was nice I saved money on clothes hehe). That's how low the dollar dropped.

Hopefully, I'll get the job and it wont just be a big let down.

So Austin and I ventured to downtown Oakville via the bus, to figure out what bus route to take to the store I'll be interviewed at on Tuesday. While down there, we stopped in at the Library, I got a card, and started shuffling through books, trying to decide on where to start. I'm cheap, and figured I can use the magic that is a library to start reading more.

So I headed right to the science section. Picked up an educational dvd, "A brief History of Time", by Stephen Hawking, and a book on the theory of the Multiverse, black holes, and all that cool stuff.

That should keep me busy all week while I review more math.

Fudge it! I'm buying Aion!

I'm bored of Wow. I'll flat out say it. Two months back and I'm already bored. -_- Time for something new and fresh. (I miss the wonder that was early FFXI and early WoW)

Austin will be following suit. I said my opinion on WoW last night looking at the Aion website, and he said that the only reason he didn't mind the rep grinding we were doing all weekend, was because it was with me. *nerd swoon* I got my Zulian Tiger, and was like "oh...neat."  the other day. There really is no wondermeant anymore. >< I really didn't even care THAT much when I got the Time-Lost Proto-Drake. It was neat, but it didn't feel like I did anything....

With the studying thing on me now, I'm spending the majority of my days reading either University Prep Chemistry (really interesting actually), or doing my math. I log onto wow to do....well...nothing really. My choice of majors are  going to be
1. Biology
2. Astro Physics (aka Astronomy) <----I have been nervous about saying it to anyone but Austin.

Astronomy I have been passionate about since I was...well as long as I can remember. And, Austin has this "Shoot for the stars" attitude, that just really makes me want to pursue a goal I had once thought unattainable. I want the chance to understand the big picture. And Physics, though I haven't taken it yet, sounds just awesome. I've wanted to make peace with math for so long, and I am finally. I want to see where it all comes together. And I am willing (I think going out of my way to get caught up shows it.) to work my ASS off to get there.

Anyway, with all the work I'm currently doing, logging onto Wow is "meh". I get little to no enjoyment from it. And gear is so easy to get now, whats the point. EVERYONE has raid gear. Back in the day it used to be rare, and it meant something. Now it's a dime a dozen and you replace your gear in a week anyway. They did make the game more fun, I will give them that BUT I think I have just been playing it too long. *sigh*

I'll be picking up a copy of Aion and installing it on Austin's computer to see if it chops. (His biggest worry is chop, and I know my computer will play it ok, but his is a year older.) If it does, he'll be grabbing more ram from the guys at work. (They would know what kind to get, and luckily, a gig of ram for him is only a few bucks.)

Too bad EB in the mall doesn't open until 10am. -_-

I have been waiting for something new, biding my time since I heard FF14 was coming out, but this game sounds nice, and I think I would really enjoy something fresh. :)

Unit 2 done and sent out. Still waiting for my other packet with my other subject to get here, mmm Chemistry. The subject I failed in grade 11 but miraculously went into summer school for, ending with an A???? o_O Go figure.

I've been doing some career research this past week, on and off, during my study breaks. I *think I* I can manage to get all this done before my deadline, as long as I don't screw around. (It will be tight, but I think I can pull it off.)

If I go for what I REALLY want, I'll be in school until I'm close to 40. ...But I will be full-filled. Sometimes I think it's ok to be selfish and go do something you REALLY want, rather than taking the "safer" route. (It's not like I have any children to feed, so why am I worried?) I wont mention what that career goal is for a bit, I still need some time to think it over myself, let alone yammer on about how passionate I've always been about said subject. (It is Science related.) And if I did somehow get accepted into the program...well it will be hell. Pure and simple. A lot of math. A lot of Chemistry. A lot of everything that I shy away from normally because I'm afraid of actually succeeding. But it will be fun. And I would be in a field most people only dream of.
I found out that Graduate school in said major is essentially free. It would become my job for 4-7 years. (Not that I mind that, the thought of teaching something I love excites me. :P) So financially, it wouldn't be a burden after the 4 years.

Maybe this was, in a weird, convoluted way, my "calling", after all these years of saying "Forget it. It's too hard." I'm thankfully Austin is around and is so supportive when he notices me talk about something I actually give a damn about. He's pointed out the following, human-rights, law, biology, social-structures (sociology related..is what I guess I would classify it as.), history, and this subject. By history I mean Ancient History, not that revolutionary war crap.

We'll see if I am singing a different tune when I see my first Semester's subject list. (I foresee a lot of screaming and crying at home.)

Slow Heroic Parties in WoW make small kittens cry.

7+ hours of studying gives me a migraine. Literally.

I haven't heard from anyone in my mooching family lately. Wonder what gives.

In January, it will be 2 years since I've talked to my mother. *nods* It's for my own sanity's sake I suppose.

This time next year, we'll probably living in downtown Toronto. I think I look forward to that, since living in another place probably can't be much worse than this current hell hole. Loud student's, inconsiderate neighbor's, the management is horrible, and it's way overpriced for what it is.

Oh, and for the past week and a half I've woke up to nothing but hammering at 9am. I'm wondering whether it's the so called building work going on or someone being a real fucking wad.

But, to end on a good note. Austin is a sweetheart.

This root beer candy stick is my equivalent of sucking my thumb in distress. *nods* I want my blankie! *ahem*

I'm now through lesson 6 of the Trig/Geometry/we like to mix it up lots course I'm taking for "Adult Education". (Because High School rides the Fail Whale, I have to take it upon myself to suck it up and say "I don't know this but I will teach myself because I want to do something other than conform to my families "walking baby machine", "white trashin", "I like to collect Welfare checks when I am perfectly capable of bettering myself" ways.)
(By the way, I don't mind children, though I do think the average person doesn't need to run out and make 5+ of them...the world is overpopulated enough, seriously. At least adopt if you want to have 15 children, please. -_- I'm speaking of people who have kids simply to collect welfare and sit on ass. Kudo's to the actual mothers who CARE about their children. Just so I don't have any misunderstanding's with people since I know many of you are mothers. :P )
My head is spinning a bit from all the concetration. That and the fact I haven't eaten all day....but it's getting close to dinner so I may as well just hang out until then heh. I tend to get caught up in things and forget to like...feed myself...-_- *I want my bottle!*  This course isn't so bad. I got some nice comments from the teacher who graded the problems I had to send in. But I did get the usual "You need to define what everything means because not everyone thinks like you and you need to be more specific...." ...story of my life man, story of my life.

I know I'm shooting really high in goals here, but honestly, I tend to get what I want when I actually try. I'm quite bull-headed about something when I REALLY want it. (It's how I got Austin. :3 Had to wait him out *I was a vulture*, but I got him. :P) There just aren't that many thing's I get overly passionate about in life. But I have since discovered a few, thanks to being given the opportunity, the world is my oyster so-to-speak. So, I'm shooting high.

I ordered my University level Chemistry course today. After apparently, holding up the line at the Canada Post place. Guy in back of me snidely goes to the lady, while I'm standing at the counter filling out an envelope, "Don't worry this is an EASY one". I just smile at the ego centric personalities of some people. That feeling of "Self importance", you see it the most driving, where that one guy thinks that he's the only important person in the world and whatever he's got going on is so important, that he has to endanger everyone else's lives by driving like a fucktard.

"Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!?"  - Dane Cook

After Chemistry, I'm going to go for Physics. I'm considering altering my career goal a bit, and either way having physics will make me look excellent in either of the two majors I wish to take.

The laws of nature are interesting. I like to see where they apply. It'll be nice to be educated again.

Not having  a lot of sugar really hits you when you have something with sugar in it. After a 4 hour raid tonight, Austin and I decided to walk up to Tim Horton's for shit's and giggles, in the rain, just for the hell of it. *shrugs* Their Apple Cider is nice for a warm drink, since the last time I had their Coffee, I could like...feel my heart beat from all the sugar shit in it. The Cider wasn't much better..... (Oh Starbuck's, how I love you and your real apple juice, warm drink of fuzziness. ) Yeah...it's freaky when you can feel the sugar kick in, I never noticed it before....since I pretty much had soda IV ed into my body.    Having sugar in an already sugary substance, is like.......eating Bacon wrapped in Bacon. -_-

Oh, said raid went ok. I did a craptacular job in my old Tier 7.5. By the end I was logging out with my tail between my legs sniffling over my shit dps. I did walk away with two Tier tokens though. That should help. Along with the fact that I have + hit coming out of my ass, and I can now find a nice mainhand/offhand combo. (Makes me kick myself in the ass for not taking the dagger that dropped in ToC last night....-_-)

Come Monday, I go back into my education..thing.... Meaning 8+ hours of studying a day minimum. *get the gun!*    I need to finish up this course ASAP if I have any hope of finishing before my time limit. Then I get to go back into University as a 26 year old student. mmmmm. I will relish the moment some 18 year old youngin' asks me my "situation". :P (Hey, I still look like a teenager.) It'll be fun pointing out I'm almost a decade older (and taken) muhahhaha. With what I plan to take, I'll be in school until I'm like....40...yay!

Oh, and as of now, I believe I've lost 6+ lbs (In about a month and a half). Yay..... Computer pudge is on it's way down! I've got 10 months or so to get myself down to rake thin, I'm pretty sure it'll happen at this rate. And this is with pretty minimal efforts. I eat when I get hungry, I just eat the right stuff, and walk like I normally do. (Not having a car anymore helps, and I get to laugh at all the poor saps who have to pay for gas/repairs/insurance/parking/etc. Don't get me wrong, it's convenient...but sooooo fucking expensive... Btw I know car's are a necessity for most, I'm just being a sarcastic wad :P) I even treat myself to high quality ice cream weekly. (Cheescake with Raspberries mixed in OMG! *dies*)
Least I wont have to feel like the "Is pretty but looks like she could stand to lose 10 + lbs" girl anymore. -_- (Oh, my ego! )

I almost threw up after I got him lol. Yay excitement.

Ignore my out-o'-date-T7.5 gear. Going into Ulduar this weekend to start replacing some of it. :P (Hey, gimmie a break I was away for like...5 months.)

Time-Lost-Proto-Drake can bite my ass.

EDIT 

Holy shit! He's mine!

To you peeps out there, how is the game Aion? Is it worth me playing or like...another Lineage where it's all pretty but not very interesting? 

I have been poking around looking at the website and screens and such. I'm curious but skeptical at the same time hehe.

Too bad for Austin and me to play it would be $100 that we really don't have.